Charisma is no mystery. It’s a skill you can learn.
Here are 6 rules to be charismatic:
1. Make People Feel Important (SHR Method)
Your formula to boost charisma:
Seen
- Give eye contact
- Offer a specific compliment
Heard
- Ask good questions
- Be interested, not interesting
Remembered
- Follow up
- Remember name(s)
- Recall something you discussed
2. Pause Before Speaking (30% Rule)
When speaking, we allow ourselves only 30% of the time a listener would give us to fill a pause without it feeling awkward. You have more time to reply than you think.
Wait for 2s first.
Pause in Speaking + Eye Contact = Confidence
3. Hone Your Body Language (7-38-55)
Rule
People will like/dislike your communication based on:
- 7% words
- 38% tonality and face
- 55% body language
Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, make eye contact, smile, and give a firm handshake…
4. Use Humor
A study of the top TED Talks found humor as a key ingredient. People are drawn to those who make them feel good (aided by humor).
3 proven tips to be funnier:
- Give a surprising answer
- Care more than someone predicted
- Be more specific than necessary
5. Don’t Complain or Gossip. Ever.
Nobody likes to hear complaining. So why do we do it ourselves? (Respectfully standing up for yourself is different.)
Separately, when you talk badly about others, people wonder if you talk badly about them too.
Just don’t do it.
6. The Shadow Rule
You don’t need to hide parts of yourself to be accepted by others. Think about your favorite movie or TV character. They have at least one weakness. You wouldn’t like them as much otherwise.
Imperfection is humanizing.
Own your flaws, and be magnetic.
From: “Charisma on Command” by Charlie Houpert and Ben Meer